Why Do Men Become Distant When They Fall In Love
Hi!. Have you ever been in a relationship where you thought things were just going wonderfully and you about to say I love you or you just said I love you and you are feeling very comfortable in the relationship and very happy and then all of a sudden the man started to distance himself? Text messages became less frequent, phone calls became less frequent and time spent together became less and less because he started spending more time with his buddies now this was a very common occurrence in a relationship.
I actually have so many clients, female clients, that come in and describe this same exact scenario to me. Now, it’s important to understand that this is a part of male behavior. They go through cycles, alright? Men are taught to be independent, they could handle things on their own so when they may start to feel too close to women, too dependent on a woman, for their joy for their happiness to fill up their free time, they may start to pull away.
Now this is a very subconscious sort of behavior. They don’t realize that they’re necessarily doing it, they’re not purposely doing it to prove to themselves that their man. It’s subconscious, they start to distance themselves a bit, just to remind themselves that they can do things on their own. Unfortunately, as women take that as a big sign of rejection and we take it personally. It hurts our feelings we think that something must be wrong with us or the relationship isn’t going as well as we thought it was going and then, the woman does the opposite of what she should do and that is when the man pulls back, she pushes forward, she becomes more smothering, she wants the relationship back to where it was, so she tries to move the relationship back to where it was, to that more intimate level, but the man is still distancing himself.
Actually the more the woman tries to push for the relationship, the man typically will pull back even more, so ladies, if you’re with somebody and everything is going beautifully, everything is going wonderfully and all of a sudden, the guy starts to distance himself, just let him, just let him distance himself. Chances are, he will come back and he’ll come back just as loving as he was before, once he sort of regained his man strength in his independence.
You go do your own thing, you have fun with the girlfriends that you’d be ignoring for the last couple of weeks, because he’s been spending too much time with that guy you like so much. It’s important to know too that oftentimes when the man comes back,
he will come back as if nothing happened, he’ll come back wanting the relationship to be the same exact way that it was before, at the same intimacy level and this is where women have a problem, because they’re thinking: excuse me? I’ve barely heard from you for the last few days or weeks, do you think I’m just gonna hop right back into bed with you like we were before? I don’t think so. But then again the man takes this as a rejection, because he doesn’t understand, What’s the problem? Here we got our back again. I’m back in your life, everything’s gonna go great, we’re gonna be like we were.
So it’s very important to communicate with your partner, tell him that it hurt your feelings that he hasn’t been around for a while, but it’s best not to punish him for it, because again, this is a part of male behavior, that is somewhat wired into their hard drive. This is from the primitive mind they’re not even aware that they’re doing it, when they’re doing it and women, try not to take the distance personaly. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t enjoy a relationship or love you. It just means that he needed some time to remind himself that he is an independent man once again, but we all know the truth, that behind every independent man is a wonderful, strong, powerful woman.
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