Thoughts on Having a Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth After Having Had A Dysfunctional Childhood. I once met the wife of a very successful actor who found himself very comfortable in front of people in general. She mentioned that she thought it was because he had experienced unconditional love and acceptance as a kid. She joked that he had had the kind of mother that if he farted, his mother probably would have said, “That’s wonderful.” She said that the strong foundation he had been given was what made him so gutsy. He felt so comfortable in his own skin that he never stopped to worry about anybody else. It was as though he expected people to like him. He carried that strong foundation with him for the rest of his life. I couldn’t help but think that he was super lucky.
I had never come across such a person before. If you are like me, you didn’t get to experience unconditional love from a parent. Like me, you may have experienced cruel highly critical words that only put you down and even beatings. Others who had dysfunctional parents were abandoned or neglected.
Regardless of which combination you may have experienced, that puts us in a totally different ball game than somebody who grew up in a very loving and accepting family.
I’ve found that people who have experienced being raised with dysfunctional parents are prone to having unhealthy relationships with themselves. Even people who have really pushed through tough childhoods and become highly successful and productive individuals can still find themselves lacking unconditional self-love and self-acceptance. Without those, we experience moments where we experience self-doubt, fear and self-sabotage.
I know that in my case, I’ve had to really work on not being so self-critical of myself. My Grandmother who raised me could be highly critical and cruel so it’s just what my mind learned to do. Now that I’ve been working on it, I’ve got it under control but still it can pop up from time to time and I have to catch myself and steer my mind out of that direction.
We can’t change who we were born to or change what we experienced but what we can do is start to practice: Unconditional Love and Acceptance. For us, it’s the answer to the feelings of depression and or anxiety that we feel when stuff from our childhood gets triggered. And trust me, it does get triggered. It’s just a matter of whether you realize it or not.
I hope my sharing helps you to analyze the effects of how your childhood might be impacting you because understanding it is the first step in you being able to take control of whatever negative situation you are experiencing and start steering your life in the direction you want it to go in.
For more information on training your mind to have a high self worth and a high self-esteem, go to my website and be sure to sign up for my newsletter. I’m currently working on a program to help people get past trauma. By signing up, you can make sure that I email you when it’s ready.